Superstition Ain’t the Way

9:37 p.m.
At the place where McCain is presumed to accept the nomination of the Republigoat party, there is a sign waiting to be unveiled with whatever the number is that McCain needed to win said nomination. A few reporters have commented that McCain would balk at such a sign because he's "very superstitious."

Just what we need. Four more years of a superstitious Executive. Oy.

Anyway. So far, it appears that we here at Crack Whores for Good Government should have maintained our reticence on calling Rhode Island. We had assumed that good turnout was good for Barack H. Obama. We were apparently wrong-o. NBC is calling that little state for Hillary "All He Has Is A Cute Little Speech" Clinton. Oh, well. What was it Mark Twain said? Oh, yes. "People who make political predictions on weblogs are pathetic losers." Something like that. I'm paraphrasing. We did call Vermont though. Best. Coin toss. Evar.

9:40 p.m.
Norman Einstein or whatever that guy's name is, he's on the TV machine right now punditorizing that there are some in the Clinton campaign who aren't going to feel great about continuing the campaign if she only wins Ohio (and Rhode Island). That's one aspect you always look at in these here politics: Are the screws coming out of the campaign?

9:53 p.m.
Will John McCain yet again misuse the "follow him to the gates of Hell" line? Will he offer a weird little smile after? Will he? Blah blah blah. Iraq, terrorism. Terrorism, Iraq. Fear fear fear. War war war. Bomb bomb bomb. ::weirdsmile::

9:57 p.m.
Yay! John Weirdsmile just talked about less regulation! Because that works so good! Yay pillar mining and beef recalls! Brawndo’s got electrolytes! Yay!

10:04 p.m.
Johnny B. Goode? Really?

10:23 a.m.
Oh, lord. The Olbermann has just told me that we won’t have an Ohio count until like 4:30 a.m. I knew there was a reason I moved out of that sock-cooking state.

10:29 p.m.
Brian Williams making a funny at the expense of Rachel Maddow? Priceless.

10:53 p.m.
MSNBC has just called Ohio for Clinton, currently at a 16 percent lead. That was our call here at Crack Whores for Good Government, unless the vote count ends in double digits. As previously noted, Cleveland may not be counted until early tomorrow morning.

10:59 p.m.
Andrea Mitchell: "Clearly, [the Clinton campaign is] going to claim victory tonight, even though they are behind on the delegates, they can't catch up on the delegates, they are going to say that this gives them the push that they need to go on to Pennsylvania …”

11:14 p.m.
Oh, snap! It's John Glenn on Hillary's stage! One of the greatest Americans ever. The George Brett of Ohio politics. What a good get for the Clinton campaign.

11:21 p.m.
Tweety says, John Glenn, what a great American.

11:48 p.m.
Barack Obama is speaking. His speech began by summarizing current election results. Hillary Clinton's speech didn't mention results on the ground, didn’t concede a single god-damned thing. Tell me who’s using Fartblossom's playbook.

1:08 a.m.
It's like SunTzu once said: "If you fart in the bath, it is polite to explain the bubbles." I have to go wash some egg off of my face, and then to eat a whole buncha crow. It's not over. But I predict I will probably not be making many more predictions. Maybe.

I'm Rooting For Seattle

“I kind of had gone through these four years and I found myself sayin’, ‘Hey, Lord, you know, I really want to win football games and wind up coming out of this with a platform that I can honor you,’ ” Gibbs said. “That’s what I was trying to say to the Lord. And it really caused some soul-searching for me because I realized probably in there that I was probably kidding myself and kidding the Lord.

“What I was doing was probably wanting it a lot for myself and not really being honest with the Lord,” he continued. “And I think I needed to ask him for forgiveness on that. What I should be sayin’ is what he wants. I should be sayin,’ this is what God wants, not what I want.”

A.B.H., Iowa, and They Said It Couldn't Be Done

I have had the day to digest the Iowa primary. I have listened to pundits and meandered through Leftblogistan. And I have come to the utter conclusion that what happened in Iowa on both sides was utterly, gloriously beautiful.

Barack Obama won, but he didn’t just win. He trounced. He defied the polls by around ten percent. He left Edwards and Clinton with their dicks in the dirt. And I cannot tell you how lovely it was to see Mrs. Clinton, who is an excellent senator for the people of New York, take the bronze. I am, to a great extent, an A.B.H., an anybody but Hillary. I think she is an excellent senator for the people of New York, but I am strongly of a mind that we’ve had enough DLC-style leadership. It was fine in the 90s, but these are different times. It’s a post-post 9/11 world, don’t you know.

Speaking of 9/11: How gloriously beautiful is it that Rudolf Giuliani got kicked squarely in the balls by Ron Paul, who was not even invited to the Fox debate, and who actually agrees with US about Iraq? And how about that lazy-eyed bastard Huckaboo winning the thing for pennies on Willard Romney’s dollar? How many more things can those Republigoats offer us to point at and laugh? Ha ha ha!

I think Big Ed got the big picture right. This was, truly, a caucus for change. Iowa Democrats chose Barack Obama, a vastly liberal-voting, black senator, and Iowa Republigoats chose the underdog from Arkansas whose gaffes had recently seemed to make the current president seem, well, relatively interested in learning things. This was a vote that said, we’re sick of this shit, and it’s time to wack the hive. We’re tired of managers. We need a leader.

Speaking of that. You should go read this. It is an absolutely brilliant piece of writing that effectively crystallizes what mess The American Voter is looking at. I read it and cringed with envy.

Anyway. Iowa rules. I cannot wait to see where the momentum leads ‘em. Change. Peace. And, it can be done.

Seriously?

Sunday's New York Times published an editorial that would ordinarily merit a thorough reading. It starts: "There are too many moments these days when we cannot recognize our country. Sunday was one of them, as we read the account in The Times of how men in some of the most trusted posts in the nation plotted to cover up the torture of prisoners by Central Intelligence Agency interrogators by destroying videotapes of their sickening behavior. It was impossible to see the founding principles of the greatest democracy in the contempt these men and their bosses showed for the Constitution, the rule of law and human decency."

This would ordinarily have been an excellent commentary, except that it comes from the same newspaper that just last week offered an employment opportunity and a soapbox to Bill Kristallnacht. It's like a restaurant hiring a guy with a famous past of making brown, shitty omlettes and then bitching about brown, shitty omlettes.

In Which The "Best Page in the Universe" Offers the Best Take on the iPhone Evar

The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face.

I feel the same way, but replace “Nokia E70″ with “Treo 650.”

Grab Your Ankles

Reports are that former Pakistan PM Benazir Bhutto has been killed.

This initially strikes me as what you call a "spark" in a "powder keg."

(See Ferdinand, Archduke.)

Willard Stinks

How utterly revolting a human being is Willard Romney? How disgusting, how ignorant, how repulsive can a human being be?

First, he utters one of the wrongest, most anti-American things a person can utter: “Freedom requires religion, just as religion requires freedom.” Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! Wrong!

Then he lies about his daddy’s affiliation with Martin Luther King Jr., trying to use the man for his own political profit. Wow. Mortifying.

That is all.